


I picture it soft and I ache

by amarda



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, au where cw never happened and after tws steve and bucky got together and go to therapy, inspired by a tumblr post, steve is a bit of a dumbass in the best way, they're both softies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 05:23:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19823431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amarda/pseuds/amarda
Summary: If Steve could do nothing but rub Bucky’s Goddamned feet on this Goddamned couch for the rest of his Goddamned life, he would be happy.Steve proposes to Bucky.





	I picture it soft and I ache

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this](https://caraldanvars.tumblr.com/post/178728859156/bucky-and-steve-got-married-on-the-playground-when) post by caraldanvars: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

“Bucky?”

“Mhm?”

“Will you marry me?”

A pause. Steve’s heart picks up speed in the still of the living room. He doesn’t feel nervous, but the words coming from his mouth surprise him. He sits on one end of their couch, Bucky lying across it reading a weathered paperback, his sock covered feet in Steve’s lap. Steve has been watching him with his head resting on his knuckles, his other hand lazily massaging Bucky’s feet.

There is nothing special about this day. It isn’t even a particularly nice one; the afternoon sun struggling to be seen behind grey clouds, a chill roaming through the house uninvited. It’s nothing out of their usual routine, but Steve wants to soak up every second of it. He wants this moment to be frozen, photographed. He wants it painted and framed, hung up in one of the many halls of his heart. If Steve could do nothing but rub Bucky’s Goddamned feet on this Goddamned couch for the rest of his Goddamned life, he would be happy.

It's only a beat after Steve’s question when Bucky looks up over his book. “I thought we were already married.”

Steve blinks. He could almost laugh if he weren’t so confused. “What?”

“Yeah. When we were...eight? Maybe?” He puts the book down on his thighs and sits up to properly look at Steve. “No, I was nine and you were eight. We were at a park somewhere and I said we should be married so we could say ‘I love you’ to each other, like how adults did,” Bucky laughs softly at the logic of his child self, and Steve can’t help but adore the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. Bucky looks down at his hands. “You said yes and...we were married. Just like that. So I said I love you and you said it back, and we kept playing.” 

He stops and Steve says nothing, he can only stare with an open mouth, eyebrows raised in awe. After a moment Bucky looks up again to see Steve’s face, and he just barely frowns. “Or did I dream that?”

Steve finally breathes out a laugh. “No, no, that…you didn’t dream that. It happened,” Steve smiles fondly and squeezes Bucky’s foot. “I just...I actually forgot about that. Until you said it just now.”

“Oh.” Bucky looks down again but smiles.

Steve is still living in the memory, shocked that he could forget something that he too believed was a “real” ceremony for longer than he should have. He remembers when Bucky started going out with girls to hold up the facade of being straight and to keep their own relationship secret. They both knew they could never be together in public, nevertheless get married. So Steve held on to that one day (October 14, 1926, he remembers now) as the closest to a wedding he would ever get. It’s then that the realization hits him.

“Wait,” Steve starts, and Bucky looks up to see his furrowed brow. “You said…’already’....did you think...we were married...this whole time?”

Bucky smiles in his crooked way, eyes avoiding Steve’s. “Well...sort of. Not just because of that...but, you know…” he chuckles, and Steve almost sees him blush, “I just thought we would be together forever anyway. Rings or not.” He meets Steve’s eyes again. “I thought that was what ‘til the end of the line’ meant.”

Steve could burst into tears right there. Instead he removes Bucky’s feet from his lap and gets on the floor, kneeling next to him. He takes both of Bucky’s hands in his and looks up at his lover. “Will you. Marry me. Again. You _unbelievable punk_?”

A smile lights up Bucky’s entire face, and he squeezes Steve’s hands. “Yes. Of course,” he lets out a breezy laugh. “Of course I will, you jerk.”

Steve lets ninety years of tension roll out of him in a single breath. He springs upward and kisses Bucky a little too hard on the mouth, bringing up a hand to cup his face. Bucky kisses back just as hard, hands gliding around Steve’s torso to bring them closer together. Their tongues meet and his flesh hand finds its way to the back of Steve’s neck.

When their lips part for air, Bucky looks down into the eyes that his dreams can never quite replicate. “If I could, I would marry you a thousand times over for every year I’ve lived.”

Steve laughs at that, thumb gently smoothing over Bucky’s cheekbone. He kisses him again, smiling into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky pulls him up so they can lie together on the couch, Steve on top of him. His book has been tossed somewhere on the floor, page lost to the carpet.

Its Bucky now who wants this image captured, carved into marble ten feet tall. Their bodies tangled together, mouths on each other the closest they can get to swallowing the other whole. He wants it sculpted into the sides of mountains that will stand far longer than any superhuman on this Earth. He wants their figures drawn onto his skin like he’s a page from Steve’s sketchbook. He wants this feeling of pure contentment to be bottled and sold just so he can drown himself in it. 

Steve pulls his lips away and opens his eyes, now looking down into Bucky’s face. Bucky brings his metal hand up to run his fingers through Steve’s hair, his other hand supporting Steve’s weight. They stay like this for a moment, looking into each other and smiling.

Finally Steve rests his head on Bucky’s shoulder, nuzzling Bucky’s neck with his nose. “We have to pick a date.”

Bucky smiles into Steve’s hair. “How ‘bout October?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Find me on my tumblr [littlewormboy](https://littlewormboy.tumblr.com/) or my marvel blog [hwlincommndos](https://hwlincommndos.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Title from Strawberry Blond by Mitski.


End file.
